January 15th, 2020
Thankfulness: I am beyond thankful for the journey of healing that God is taking me on and how I can see my healing make a difference in my day to day home life
Step 1 (capture thoughts) – my toxic love thoughts have hurt my life so much. Hurt my first marriage, hurt Jada I’m sure, my husband and step-daughters myself and many other. I’m living out of my power and reason to love instead of out of fear of God and love of God. I can’t believe how much heart ache can damage the ability to live for Christ. All my choices should come from fearful awe and love for God because He first loved me.
Step 2 (focused reflection) – Toxic thoughts that i can’t love or that someone doesn’t deserve my life because they hurt me or that i need to be healed to love first – is wrong! As I poor out love I’ll receive healing because I am being obedient to God “love me and love others” each choice that goes against that is a sin and a cause of break in relationship with God. I will and can love fully because I fear and love God above all else that happens in my life. and from God all things flow.
Step 3 ( Journal) – no toxic thought is harmless and I have no right to sit and think thoughts of “how could he” or “why can’t they” When God is always love. Therefore, no matter what I should be love too. I will poor out love, grace, forgiveness… just like God has so graciously extended to me – beyond what I deserve.
Step 4 ( Pray and listen) – out of fear of God love and obey. “oh that she would have such a heart always to fear me and keep my commands”
Step 5 (active reach) – Repeat: I have zero right to complain. I have zero right to withhold affection. I have zero right to act irritable. “Be careful to keep all of his commandants”